Maria Smedstad: 2019: January 2019

2018 started with Storm Eleanor in January and did not really slow down after that. As a European in the UK, 2019 is likely to bring more storms and some complicated uncertainties. Will I stay or will I go?

If I do go back to Sweden, how would I cope with readjusting? Some things that I would welcome back into my life: salty liquorice, doors that open outwards, taps that do both hot and cold water, snow at Christmas.

What would I miss about England? The list is too long.

I moved to the UK when I was 15 – a morbidly timid, chubby-faced loser with absolutely zero interest in starting afresh. Out of sheer necessity, I tried to adjust, taking on a weird Swedish/Kentish accent, learning how to tie a school tie, then slowly making friends through a shared love of The X-files.

If you have ever moved country, you will know how difficult it can be. No matter how lovely the new place is, there will be moments when you find yourself standing in a post office, or at a petrol station, feeling completely out of your depth. Which counter do you go to, how does the pump work, what is that food?!

However, once you feel accepted into a new society, it is hard not to fall in love. It took me a while, but I got there in the end, and now, of course, I am head over heels. Can you love two places at the same time? Of course you can. Can that kind of love be undone?

My wish for 2019 is that none of us will have to find out.

TEXT: MARIA SMEDSTAD