… who feels that there is no end to our ability to overcomplicate basic, simple tasks?

Like this year, I got an electrical toothbrush for Christmas – my first. I was excited! This only shows you what becoming an adult does to you: you get excited about gifts recommended by your dentist. Yes, people – this is who I have become!

My husband was happy to see I liked the fancy toothbrush. He had gone all out and got me the newest one on the market. When it was time to use it, I switched on my new toothbrush – but of course, this is not just a toothbrush you simply switch on and use; it comes with a manual. So there I was, feeling a little sophisticated reading a manual for a toothbrush and eager to start my healthy new routine.

However, first I had to register my product with the manufacturer for ‘extended warranty’. This of course translates to ‘we want more data on you so we can make more money off you’, but since it is disguised as concern for the customer, my husband insisted.

After a brief, 32-minute online encounter, I was registered!

My fingers hovered over the ‘on’ switch, keen to get started with the actual brushing of teeth, but we were only on page two of the manual. Next step was to sign up for the app. Yes, the toothbrush has an app. The app evaluates your tooth-brushing efforts and lets you know where you slacked off and what you can improve. It is not like you can be trusted to feel anything yourself.

Of course, in signing up for the app, I had to fill out lengthy forms about my ‘goals’ for using my toothbrush. I thought clean teeth was quite a no-brainer, but there were options: gum control, whiter teeth, fresher breath.

I made it through the swift 25 minutes of signing up through the app. Now I just need my phone with me every time I brush my teeth. I need to sign in and tell the app about my dental hygiene ‘goals’, and the app asks questions on my routine, whether I rinsed, scraped and flossed. Yes, brushing my teeth comes with a daily questionnaire.

So apparently brushing your teeth is far too simple a task in our day and age – you now need to be quizzed endlessly on it too.

TEXT AND PHOTO: METTE LISBY

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Scan Magazine Ltd.’

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